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"Scientists Forced To Awkward Admissions" (reads the headlines)

"It seems that after the return of the last trip to Mars some of the samples have been found here on Earth previously, but they are so rare that science itself still has no name for these materials." reported Liza Lott from NASA. "To be precise, every sample returned from Mars that has caused this embarrassing admission was also found in the Pilbara Region of Western Australia, Australia." jumped in Scott Mofo, the Australian Prime Minister. We all know we have the oldest rocks in the world here" he said with a stoopid shit eating grin.

For many decades the governments of the world have denied that we have ever had UFO's on Earth let a lone any unknown life forms from outer space. So how is it that this group of materials, nick named Australaniums, have been found in both Mars and Australia, and on the moon?

The rarity of the samples comes down to the fact that there is nothing to compare them to. When attempts have been made to isolate the Australanium samples down to molecular sized specimens, the failures were because scientists could not break the materials to a size that could possibly isolate individual substances. This can only lead this reporter to wonder what else aliens visitors have left behind that will embarrass the worlds leaders in years to come.

"Part of the problems are that the unknown materials are so hard, science has not been able to discover a way to break these samples down for testing, reliable or otherwise. One day they react magnetically, the next they don't. One day the test results lean towards a form of Iron, the next they don't.. Some days they are liquid, like a mercury, and still we can not seperate this material? said Dr Gottus Stumpted rather sheepishly.

What we did discover during the most recent press conference, is that these samples were returned in a trip from the dark side of Earths moon. The issue with these samples was that they were bought back in 1969 when America won the space race. The samples came back as futuristic Armour looking suit type items and this information has been hidden from the general public for more than 50 years. "If we can not tell what we have how can it ever be replicated for the betterment of winning wars, for defence of course!" stumbled Colonel Phibba.

"The Armour like suits have been of no use to the people on Earth as we have no way of achieving any results from literally hundreds of thousands of attempts to discover what we have." said the Whitehouse representative, Dee Niles. In other words, mankind has no ability to test these samples. When asked why the world leaders have been lying to the entire planet for half a century, Dee Niles said this simply was not the case.

One thing you can be sure of dear readers, is that this hard hitting independent reporter shall excavate the truth soon!

Article by Knotta Kluez Heer

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